There are a few people who have inspired me that I will mention here. In particular, I'm going to write about one person whose online sermons I listened to again and again while I was going through the dark-night-of-my soul experience.
His name is Kris Vallotton and he's the senior associate leader of Bethel Church in Redding, California where Bill Johnson is the senior pastor. I have been deeply impacted by both men's ministries which seek to bring the experiences of heaven to earth and to operate in the supernatural like Jesus did.
Having prayed and pursued healing for my son's autism for years without seeing any change, I know how disheartening it can get. However, my husband and I have determined in our hearts that we are not going to get offended by what God hasn't done but instead to celebrate what He has done. Not just in our lives but in the lives of others, some of whom with testimonies that are way out of this world! We choose not to lower the standard of God's Word to our level of experience. Simply because by having our faith anchored in a God who heals, it gives us hope to carry on.
While in the pursuit of Joseph's healing especially when we came to the crossroad of having to consider residential care as an option a few years ago, I discovered a greater purpose: the pursuit of the Healer rather than the healing; of seeking the face of God (to discover who He is) rather than the hand of God (what He can do).
But in the midst of the stress and anxiety of planning to let Joseph go into full-time care, I lost sight of this purpose for a while and had to learn the hard way that there are certain things that can only be received through rest rather than strife. In fact, the more I walk with God, the more I am learning that it's all about resting in Him and letting Him do things through us. During this time, part of the thing that kept me going was listening to Kris' messages like "Living Powerfully", "Living in Wholeness", and "Spirit War"; just to name a few.
Kris speaks from his personal experience of a nervous breakdown which lasted three and a half years during the early years of his marriage. His struggles with anxiety and how he overcomes them resonate deeply with me. His teachings on how the devil gains access into our lives to create havoc through our thoughts that become strongholds in our minds are so powerful. I used to listen over and over again to how he exhorts his audience to be kind to yourself, to nourish and cherish yourself as Christ does the church, to not lie down but keep walking when going through the valley of the shadow of death, because this, too shall pass. These exhortations based on the word of God were like water to a parched land; hope to a despairing soul.
Today, Kris' prophetic insight as well as humorous delivery has made him a much sought-after international conference speaker. His personal testimony of deliverance from fear and torment brings hope and freedom to thousands of people. He has written several books, including the best-selling "Supernatural Ways of Royalty".
To me, it is so refreshing to hear someone share his struggles with great transparency, and at the same time with such insights and revelations that I feel empowered to believe that I, too, can be an overcomer. I loved it when Kris said in some of his sermons that he was speaking to himself as much as he was speaking to his audience. That out of one's test comes the test-imony; out of one's mess comes forth the mess-age.
Out of the mess that I found myself in came the discovery of how much God loves me, yes, even when I was at rock bottom and totally unlovable! It is with this message in mind that I am writing a book based on my journey which I hope to be able to publish in the not-so-distant future.
This discovery was a huge revelation for someone like me who has struggled with self-acceptance most of her life. That is why I find Holley so encouraging with her constant words of exhortation that we are already amazing just the way we are! By the way, Holley is the best-selling author of "You're Already Amazing" and her second book "You're Made for a God-Sized Dream" officially releases next week.
So, thank you, Kris, and Bill, and Holley, for your messages of hope and courage that have helped me move forward and enabled me to start dreaming again!
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